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The Jack Factor

So... you think you can blog? We'll just see about that, shall we?
 

Humble Tidbits Of Vacuity



The Blog: Humble Tidbits Of Vacuity

First Impression: I thought this was going to be a tech blog. It has sort of the "look" of a tech blog. But then you find out that it's not. A tech blog.

Shut up and keep reading. I promise to make more sense.

Appearance: As I just said, tech blogggg!!! In fact, I said that in a very high, warble-y falsetto and I even said it out loud. For the record, readers, this IS NOT a tech blog (!!!!!!) at all, it just sort of looks like one. Which would cause me to pass it up without reading it if I had found it by clicking on the next blog button.

I like the little cartoon duder a lot. It seems to fit this guy, but the header does not. It's a well made header, but it is the main and first reason that this blog seems unapproachable which is a shame because if you actually start to read then you will be pleasantly surprised.

From reading his posts, I can tell you that his background used to be black. Now it is white. Kevin, the world is not always so black and white. Ha! But seriously, your background could use some color. Not anything too bright or too bold or outrageous, but just something to soften the feel and make people want to sit down and read. Warm it up a bit. Your blog doesn't have much clutter or junk filling it up and so I would suggest a sort of earthy, toned down color like gray, beige, chocolate color, sage green, deep red.... Something nice and inviting. I tend to suggest bright colors to people who have very busy sidebars but as yours is nice and clean, you don't want to blind anyone. I hear a lot of people say that they don't give a damn what their blog looks like but I think that it's like inviting someone over to your house. You don't want people there (and they don't want to be there!) if your place is filthy and looks like shit. Make it inviting and people will want to stay.

Pick a color first!!! Then, make a header that suits the mood. Trust me... a little color is a good thing!

As I just stated, you have very little clutter and to be frank, your blog seems to be a pretty accurate reflection of you. You seem like a no nonsense kind of guy who doesn't like to waste time with trivial shit and your sidebars scream this about you. I appreciate this but you might just be my rare exception when I say... maybe you should stick some more stuff in there. And I don't even say this because I have a problem with the appearance of your blog. I say this because you have quite a good canvas here and could make a damned fine little space for yourself. When I say add some stuff, I'm thinking that after you pick a color and after you have a good header, then make or have someone make a couple of small graphics that MATCH your header and put them spaced apart in your sidebar template. This will help to add some depth to the overall look and feel without making it look fucking ridiculous or by adding a ton of buttons and things you probably don't care for.

You have a good thing going here but you need to make your blog a place where people will feel compelled to stop for a read because once they start reading, they'll likely never leave.

Content: Um. You are fucking hysterical. As I sat reading through your posts, I laughed out loud about every ten seconds. Your sense of humor slays me as it borders on slightly sarcastic to downright silly-isms to random ludicrous ideas. When I read the bit about how you like to watch television commercials only imagining the word "motherfucker" at the end of each one (e.g. "IcyHot. Make pain and scent a vanishing act, motherfucker")., I spit my coffee right the fuck out of my nose which hurt like hell but I didn't care because that shit was funny.

I found myself laughing like this throughout your entire blog and, granted, I haven't read every single post, but I have cruised the archives and stopped every couple of posts to have a read but I WANT to read every single thing you have written in here. Let me tell you why:

You, sir, have mastered the fine art that I talk about all the time to fellow bloggers about how any great writer can turn absolutely nothing into absolutely fucking awesome. I highly doubt that there is a topic out there that you couldn't write about where I would not be highly entertained while reading. However, I'm on to you, buddy. Actually, anyone who reads your blog is onto you because you are ridiculously honest and it is very easy to feel as though we know you just based on your work.

But, this blog is not all funny. There is much more to it than that. Kevin is as honest as it gets to the point where it seems as though lying or deceiving would simply exhaust him and therefore, he comes right out with the truth. He manages to be self critical about his abilities as a husband without coming off as someone fishing for compliments and it is very moving, actually. I envision Kevin exactly as he comes off in his written words, a friendly guy, slightly prone to bouts of social anxiety disorder who can most often be found with his nose in a book. This is the person you see as you are reading, but you also see a curiously attentive man with a kind heart, an honest soul, a lot of compassion and a fucking brilliant sense of humor and timing.

The word I would use to best suit Kevin is "UNSUSPECTING". He creeps up on you which is why you just might be taking that sip of hot ass coffee at the worst possible time imaginable. Here you sit thinking your reading a post about this guys day or whatever random subject he is going on about and then, BAM! Something he says has you being scraped off the floor by a coworker or a family member where you lie laughing your fucking ass off.

He is genius in this way. I think he would make an awesome playwrite.

What I love: The unbelievable amount of personality that shines through each and every post.

What I hate: The unbelievable lack of personality in his template.

Suggestions: See suggestions made up there in the appearance section and other than that I must beg you to NEVER CHANGE the way you write. Seriously. You are brilliant.

Final say: Frankly, someone needs to come along with a blog for me to review that is just so shitty that I wouldn't want to wipe my ass with it. So far, I've been requested by some seriously fantastic bloggers and Kevin, my man, is right there at the top of this. People, I must insist that you go and get your read on because Kevin here is some good shit!

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At August 13, 2007 at 12:33 PM, Blogger Jansky T said...

Wow. Thanks for the compliments. I never suspected anything like this. I really appreciate everything you said.

And I totally agree with you about the whole lack of personality in the template. I have never been very good at art, or design, or colors, or accessories, or displays, or whatever...be it on my blog or in my office or at my house. Probably because I just look at shit for functionality and haven't ever had a reason or desire to cultivate the skills to nifty things up with colors or a theme or motif or whatever. It's something I'd like to do with my blog to, as you said, make it more inviting for people to want to stick around.

Thanks again for the (unbelievably) kind words. They made my day.    



At August 13, 2007 at 2:28 PM, Blogger Jack Jack said...

Kevin, what's lucky for you since you've kept your sidebars so damned clean is that you could basically do a google search for some good simple, clean templates and then have no work to do but download, copy and paste, lol. Or, just go in and change the color code. I've come across some good graphic artists on here the past few days and I'll link them later on today for those who need headers and such :-)    



At August 13, 2007 at 7:17 PM, Blogger Cinnamon Girl said...

Ah you found Kevin! I love this site, it was one of the first I discovered. Kevin kills me. He is like the Steven Wright of bloggers. Good choice!!    



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