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The Jack Factor

So... you think you can blog? We'll just see about that, shall we?

Here Comes A Storm (In The Form Of A Girl)

The first blog I shall be reviewing is one that I got off of the next blog button since that seems an easy fucking way to find a random blog to review. I can't wait until I don't have to do that anymore as I feel sort of like I'm raping this poor girl's blog.

The Blog: http://absinthedreamers.blogspot.com/

First Impression: My first thought when I clicked on this blog was the main reason I decided to review it instead of clicking the damn button again. It was dark and angry looking and I very much expected it to belong to some 20 year old kid with an obsession for cutting herself. Instead, after reading through just the first page, I realized that this chick is wicked cool and I'd probably get wasted with her in real life if she'd allow me to. She is smart and funny as hell but sharp as shit, too.

Appearance: I'm just "eehh" about the appearance of this blog. I appreciate the dark colors as it seems to fit her personality but I'm not such a huge fan of tons and tons of sidebar buttons. I don't mind when people have them, but these ones are sort of all over the place. There is a lot of stuff in the sidebars and it wouldn't be so bad if it were more organized. Also, the archive links are just insane and something needs to be done about it. I love the header but I have two minor complaints about it: The size and the font. This particular header would look much better as a banner that crosses the top of the page instead of just the center panel of the blog. And this font is just too fucking cheerleader-y for this chick and for the image. Someone needs to go and do her a favor and fix that up a bit.

Content: What I might find issue with in appearance, her content makes up for it. This is an extremely telling blog and after cruising through archives for a large chunk of the morning I can assume many things about this person: She is fucking intelligent as hell, wit that can sting like a hornet and she is completely shameless. There are no apologies here for what she is thinking and saying. It is 100% honest and she is the real deal. As a fellow potty mouth, I appreciate her excessive use of some words your mama don't wanna hear but they are used to stab emphasis onto what she is saying instead of just being an opportunity to curse. She writes about a really wide variety of subjects; music, movies, politics, family and friends and then she sprinkles random globs of hysterical nonsense throughout. This is NOT a shallow woman in he slightest and it is impossible not to love her.

What I hate: I cannot stand all the junk in the sidebars.

What I love: I love the honesty and the unapologetic content of her writing.

Suggestions: Fix the header and clean up those sidebars. I recommend using scrollers and making separate sections for everything like buttons and archives and shout outs. Then, once you have everything sectioned off, scroll them up. You can find actual boxes to contain things but I don't like those as much as just embedding the code to scroll everything as it is on your page. A great place to generate a custom scroller code is http://www.nutrocker.co.uk/scrollbarcolor.html

Final say: Marry me, Starrlight. At the very least get drunk and fool around with me. This blog is fantastic and you are one hell of a writer. I will be returning!
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At August 12, 2007 at 5:54 PM, Blogger Starrlight said...

Well slap my ass and call me Sally! You can rape my blog if you are going to say nice things about me. Any ole day.

I hear you on the sidebars. And trust me if I had my choice I would do something about them. Unfortunately with 55 hour weeks and 12 year old who I actually like spending time with, I'd rather write and watch bad tv than code. As for the font ... dude it is called Girls Are Weird! It's classic goth girl font! Work with me! You think this is girly...go check the Hello Kitty font. I have barf in the back of my throat just thinking about it.

Totally agree on the banner. I didn't make it. Acutally my ex made it for me. Even though he is my ex. And he is the ex so it is not like I can yank the pussy privileges and boss him around.

As to the content, sir, you flatter me. And I like that =) I will be linking to this cause I am an egotist, and we shall see if we can't drum you up some willing victims. Hate to see you have to resort to blog Ruffies ;)    

At August 12, 2007 at 6:34 PM, Blogger Jack Jack said...

Excellent! Your blog was a pleasure to read and I will surely be back :-)    

At August 13, 2007 at 5:09 AM, Blogger Bond said...

STARRLIGHT is the best there is....we just love her and will fight you for her hand in marriage!

OK, well.. shoot away THE COUCH awaits you to sit and review...    

At August 13, 2007 at 8:16 PM, Blogger Travis said...

The first thing that caught my eye about this blog was that Starrlight was unapologetically in your face from word one.

I come back for that, and for the balance of true humanity I find.

Great review!    

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